EP 115: GOODBYE TO ROMANCE

With Megan Wyatt

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Mahin, Sammer, and Naureen talk to Megan Wyatt, founder of Wives of Jannah. Wives of Jannah is a rapidly growing organization of thousands of Muslim wives who are inspired by the core goal which is stated as:

Inviting emotionally intelligent Muslim wives from the West to create a loving, emotionally deep, spiritual and passionate marriage; to rekindle marriage as an act of worship, a path to being nearer to our Creator, and a gateway to being a wife in Jannah, insha’Allah.

She has successfully led workshops dealing with sexual intimacy, communication, and emotional connection, and teaching wives and couples how to practice the art of her concept Fearless Vulnerability in their marriage.

Megan has been coaching Muslims from all over the world since 2008 and through Wives of Jannah works directly with wives and couples in personal coaching and on-site intervention meetings.

She has also authored two ebooks both dealing with intimacy, one specifically for women who struggle due to previous sexual trauma in their lives, offering guidance for themselves and their husbands.

You can find WOJ on Facebook here www.facebook.com/wivesofjannah You can also download their ebook, “Will the Angels Curse Me?” by clicking here http://wivesofjannah.com/wtacm

Comments (2)

Asalamualaikum,

Asking before marriage if a person is ok with performing certain sexual acts may save your marriage. Asking what is your expectation sexually is very good. What is the man’s expectation of frequency of sex. What is the woman’s expectation of frequency of sex. You may come to realize they have a very different number and expectation. What is your expectation for the first couple of days, first couple of weeks, first couple of months.

Divorce is real

People get divorced. Divorce is Real. Frequency and type of Sex is a big issue. Asking a woman or a man if they are comfortable with certain sexual acts or frequency is not shameful or wrong.

Divorce is real

Pornography is real. This is a reality. To try to shame this line of questioning is naive and doing the Ummah a disservice. Maybe people don’t know Males. Yes, it maybe sad that guys have seen soo much haram, but reality has to be dealt with. If your a guy your looking very forward to having a halal relationship, so you can have as much sex as you have been desiring. I dont think people know how much sex guys want, especially if they have been waiting.

Divorce is real

If men could they would pause life have sex, make ghusl, then press play and continue where they left off. 5 minutes later if they could they would have sex again they would. If they are in the middle of work at the office, and they could pause life, create a portal to their house, and have sex with their wife, then go back to work they would everyday all day. Its halal why wouldn’t you. If you think this is sick and a disease than you dont know men. If a man was honest, states his expectation of frequency and asking if this is going to be a problem or an issue is tying your camel. To ask about a fundamental desire and an integral part of the relationship upfront is responsible.

Dont shame asking about sex. This is reality. If I hurt somebodies feelings in asking, I am only protecting myself and her. Do you think Allah looks down on a man for asking that. Do you think Allah counts that against the man on Judgement Day. Do you think the Prophet of Allah, peace be upon him would be disappointed and say thats bad adab. This is our time, this is our fitnah, this is our reality

If you could have sex at any moment why wouldn’t you? I dont think women really understand sexual desire, and I would say the NEED, of males.

Dont shame asking about sex before marriage

So if a guy has seen porn from an early age and cant wait for the day he can fulfill his desires and now he is married and for whatever reason the wife is not comfortable doing the things he desires it causes a problem in their marriage. I don’t believe women are prepared or told honestly how much guys want or desire sex. I dont believe guys are prepared to talk to women before marriage to ask about sex. I dont believe the scholars to justice to this issue knowing about the reasons for so much divorce.

What type of man asks these questions? An honest man trying to protect himself from a divorce or fitnah while married. If your not having the sex you want or the frequency of sex you expect to have you will find it somewhere else, which is sinful if you dont get married. So in protecting ones self you ask a question before marriage. Divorce is Real. Mass watching of Pornography is real. Men desiring copious amounts of sex is real. Men not getting enough sex is also real.

Don’t shame asking about frequency/type of sex before marriage

Mass watching of Pornography is real

Divorce is Real(May Allah protect all of us)

Of course. Lets turn the tables. Would you be comfortable in sharing size of your noodle known through this pre marriage sex talk you recommend with others because you know girls talk. Would you be comfortable to know that women don’t know anything of sex or positions you want to know which could be discovered with time instead. You want no scope for imagination.
Fitnah is for everyone. Won’t we persevere? Divorce is better than being in an abusive relationship and exchanging good deeds without knowing. Now I am shamed by my wife for my penis size and compared me with her brother in law. Desensitization anyone? i’m domestic violence surviving, can i ask my wife do you like to kill your husband by choking in bathroom sink and when failed cry foul? No one goes to jannah by just marrying.

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